I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
