Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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