im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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