I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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