PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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