YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We don't watch enough power rangers
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
