Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize