She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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