First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
