i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
