do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
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