addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
