____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Define "chronic" masturbator.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
