I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
