I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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