Pregnant stripper...not hot.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
