Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
