he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
