I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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