OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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