So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Just puked most of my soul out..
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