Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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