You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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