ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
