Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
