I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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