Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
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She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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