Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
