I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Small penises have feelings too.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm bleeding and have questions
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
