He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
