Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.

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(559): View more from California

I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.

(1-559): View more from California

Yup.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him

(608): View more from Wisconsin

Just another sign I need to get out of this town

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.

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(630): View more from Illinois

So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.

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(443): View more from Maryland

he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off

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(772): View more from Florida

Are you proud of yourself?

(407): View more from Florida

ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.

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(714): View more from California

My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.

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