um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
