just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
