Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize