im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
