maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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