6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
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I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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