No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
