these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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