You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Be still, my beating vagina.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
