How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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