Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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