Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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