My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
