i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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