I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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