party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
