so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
