R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
