I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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