You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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