Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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