took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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