One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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