What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
