he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you would pick up someone in the library
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
