He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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