yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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