We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
