I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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