i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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