Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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