I'm really into asian looking animals
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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