My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Randomize
