Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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