my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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