If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
