STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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