Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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